Midnight Surrender (Freedom Fighters Series Book 2) Page 19

  Really? “Well, how about this for a reason. I’m the one that has stood by her side and protected her as well as your son, for the last six months, without so much as a thank you on your part. And I saved both of their lives when the bombers nearly killed us,” he was seething in anger, his voice so low it was almost a growl, “so, yes, it is my concern Alec.”

  He seemed to have struck a nerve. Alec took a few steps until they were only a foot apart.

  “Why don’t you tell me what you are really implying Mal?” His hands were clenched at his sides but Mal knew he may raise them at any moment.

  Mal was a boxer, with more than his fair share of hours in the ring, so this posturing meant nothing to him. He could defend himself if needed and kick Alec’s ass if he wanted. Right at this moment it was more than appealing.

  “You bedded and left her when she needed you the most. You refused to stand by her side in that hospital when she needed you the most. And now you’re going to leave her again, right when she needs you. I’m not implying anything. I’m saying it. You’re abandoning her and your children,” Mal grit his teeth, “you’re worthless.”

  Alec shook with fury. “What did you just say?”

  Mal smiled. “You. Are. Worthless.”

  Alec shoved Mal in the chest, sending him flying several feet back. It did nothing but move him really, hardly even knocked him off balance, but it was enough to inflame his ire. He took his fight stance, prepared to teach Alec a lesson. One he had needed for quite some time.

  Mal let him throw the first punch. Alec was angry enough that was not an issue. He approached Mal, landing a right hook on his lower jaw. Not bad, he thought grudgingly, but not great either. He jabbed at Alec several times, old south paw that he was, splitting his lip and knocking him off balance with that left hook. Alec doubled over, shaking his head, and stood up.

  “I’ll never win this fight,” he admitted, “and it’s not what I wanted anyway.”

  He wiped the blood from his mouth and spit, staining the dirt crimson.

  Mal straightened. “Me either.” Fighting Alec was not the solution. It felt good, but hell, it was not going to solve a damn thing.

  “What I really wanted to say, wanted to ask…is if you thought you could lead the freedom fighters,” he saw Mal’s look of surprise and continued, “I think you would be amazing.”

  Mal’s eyes narrowed. Yes, and conveniently gone from Lizzie’s side. Was that the plan? To get rid of him? To separate them permanently? He refused to do that. No way.

  “It’s not going to be that easy to get rid of me.”

  Alec looked angry again. “Is that what you think? That I only seek to remove you and keep you from Lizzie?”

  “Yes and no. I think it crossed your mind,” Mal told him truthfully.

  He must have been correct because Alec did not refute it. “I really thought you would be an excellent leader.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, not unless she asks me or tells me to, and you and I both know that is not going to happen,” he looked right into his eyes and smiled, “and I’m not going to lead the freedom fighters either. That’s your call, not mine.”

  Alec ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “I see.”

  “Get used to it Alec. She loves me and I’m as important as you are.”

  Alec took a step forward, thought better of it, and walked away. Mal let him go, knowing he was neither a coward nor a fool. It took guts to walk away just now, especially when Mal had goaded him, more than a little. But he had also spoken the truth and Alec needed to hear it.

  He gathered up his pole and fishing equipment and trudged back up to his tent. Alec was talking with Sam, Lizzie watching from the screen door. She seemed sad, worried, and confused by his demeanor.

  “Mal,” she called, “come talk to me for a minute.”

  Ah, so she figured out they had a discussion. “Coming,” he answered.

  He entered the bungalow and leaned against the door jamb.

  “What happened? What is he so upset about?” She demanded, not angry, just curious.

  “More than I can get into at the moment.”

  She arched a brow. “Are you refusing to tell me?”

  Dammit. “No, Lizzie, I am not. Alec asked me to become the leader of the refugees.”

  She paled. “What?”

  “Yes,” he pushed off the door and walked closer to her, “he did.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you think?” He asked, slightly sarcastic.

  “So he can stay here? Permanently?”

  Of course that would be her first thought. Not that Mal would leave but that Alec would stay. His heart wrenched painfully in his chest. A brutal and acute pain that caused him to realize the error of his continued presence.

  Mal decided at that moment to leave. It was true that leading the Freedom Fighters was not his calling or his desire. But he had to go, had to leave before he became an even bigger fool. The only way he would stay was if she begged him and gave him a reason.

  Mal needed Lizzie to make the ultimate choice, even if he had to force her to do it.

  “I’m leaving Lizzie,” Mal told her, watching her face closely.

  “Leaving?” She repeated, confusion on her beautiful face.

  He nodded. “Yes, there is no point in staying any longer.”

  “Forever?” She asked, her voice small.

  “Forever,” he confirmed, and turned to walk away.

  Lizzie’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm. “Why?”

  “You know why. Don’t pretend that you don’t,” he told her curtly.

  Why was she asking so many questions? The answers did not matter. He was still leaving.

  “I really don’t understand Mal. You promised to stay.”

  He ignored the promise part. He had promised and he was going to break that promise, for both of their hearts and sanity, he had to.

  “It’s simple really. You are married to Alec and I have to leave,” he replied bitterly.

  Anger crept into her eyes. “You never left before. Why is it different now?”

  Damn her logic. Just let him go already. He twisted his arm free and took another few steps away.

  “Mal! Why dammit? Tell me!” She cried, panic in her voice.

  She was afraid of losing him. He knew it but she would never admit it.

  He turned around abruptly and walked right up to her, staring into those big brown eyes, backing her into the kitchen counter. Hot throbbing need pulsed in his belly. The temptation to pick her up, place her on that countertop, and make love to her filled his head until all he wanted to do was make her forget the reasons that kept them apart.

  The tension in the room stretched between them. An electric current that vibrated in the air, sizzling, humming, but held back, ready to explode at a moment’s notice. His fingers twitched with the effort to hold himself in check. He only wanted to feel the softness of her lips pressed against his own…

  No, not like this.

  “Because you can’t make love to your husband and fuck me at the same time.” His voice was harsh, anger and hurt building into something more than he could stand.

  Shock made her gasp and she hit him in the chest, a sob rising to her throat.

  “Why? Why would you say something like that to me?” She cried, tears falling down her flushed cheeks.

  “Because it’s true,” he stated coldly.

  She shook her head. “No, it isn’t.”

  She was never going to admit that either but she wanted him as much as he wanted her. It left them without a choice. If he stayed he would make love to her and it would ruin any chance he had with her at all. She would never forgive herself. No, she had to choose Mal. It was the only way.

  “I’m leaving Lizzie. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Why now?”

  “It’s too hard,” he whispered.

  She shook her head. “It doesn’t have to be.”

  Did she r
eally not understand? Or was she refusing to see how close they both were to the edge? If either one of them fell, they would take them both down. He could not let that happen. She must choose and end the agony of his torment.

  “There is no other choice,” he told her, waiting for her reaction.

  She did not disappoint. “No Mal. You can’t. There’s always a choice.”

  He laughed bitterly. “What choice is there for me?”

  She opened her mouth to answer and none came. This was where they always got stuck, where he knew he had her.

  “The choice is not mine. I already made it. It is you Lizzie that has to choose.”

  She shook her head. “I…”

  He shook her shoulders and made her look up into his eyes.

  “Choose.”

  “Mal I…” Tears fell rapidly down her cheeks and fool that he was, he only wanted to wipe them away and all traces of the hurt he knew he was causing,

  “Choose!” He yelled louder, staring into her eyes.

  “I…married Alec…” She whispered but her eyes betrayed her uncertainty.

  “Married him because you had to escape, because Darren tried to kill you, and because you did not think you had another choice. Tell me I am wrong,” he demanded of her, between clenched teeth.

  “I can’t,” she sobbed, her head falling on his chest.

  Oh God, how he wanted to comfort her, hold her and never let her go.

  Pushing her away from him, he took a step back. “Choose.”

  She started to hyperventilate, wringing her hands in despair. The tears soaked the front of her shirt and she remained silent. He knew she was fighting the inevitable, the moment she had to finally stop this crazy dance of desire and love they had been doing for years together. It could not continue.

  “Dammit Lizzie, choose!” He demanded, terrified she would not.

  Her continued silence struck him like an arrow to the chest, right into the bull’s eye of his heart. Her refusal to answer was also a choice. He knew it instinctively.

  The choice was Alec.

  Always Alec.

  Mal was an idiot.

  “You have made your choice. Good bye Lizzie,” he told her, his heart hardening.

  He could never come back. Never see her again. Never think of her and close his heart off forever. Without another word he turned and grabbed his bags, heading toward the door of the bungalow. Shock made him walk faster but at the last minute he turned around, unable to understand why she hadn’t said goodbye in return.

  Lizzie’s face was pale and her eyes were wide, ghostly white and serene, she looked like a figure from a horror novel. A specter. One second she was staring at him in disbelief and the next she was on the floor, passed out cold.

  He dropped his bags and ran to her, scooping her into his arms and listening for her to take a breath. He could not detect a rise and fall of her chest. Nothing. Fear and panic gripped him. Had he just killed his beloved? His beautiful Lizzie?

  Gently he laid her back down and started CPR. Chest compressions. Rescue breaths. Counting. Keep a steady pace, don’t stop. Over and over he repeated the procedure, clinging to the hope that she would return to him. Oh God, what had he done?

  Lizzie gasped and her eyes flew open. She gulped in air, desperately filling her lungs. Mal searched her face anxiously. She was still pale, raising a shaky hand to his cheek.

  “I love you Malcolm. Don’t leave me,” she begged him weakly.

  He nodded, he would do anything she asked. Anything. “Yes, Lizzie.”

  “Never,” she told him, pulling him down, and hugging him close against her breast.

  “Never,” he repeated, his heart making the final leap out of the pan and into the fire that consumed him.

  She turned her face and he kissed her, tender and sweet. He would never let go. Even if it killed him and it damn well might.

  Loving her would be his destruction or his salvation, but he neither cared nor worried which it would be. Not anymore. They were here, together, and nothing short of death would ever separate him from her. No matter what the future now held, Mal would see it through to conclusion. It was his choice, made on a fateful day five years ago.

  His destiny.

  His life.

  Mal would be there until the very end…

  Chapter Thirty Four: Lizzie

  Alec had finished his discussion with Sam hours ago and still not returned. I knew he argued with Mal. I knew some kind of fight had happened because I saw his split lip.

  I expected him to show up any minute, especially after Mal left the bungalow with Benjamin to take him on a nature walk. My little son loved the outdoors and bugs, swimming and splashing in the lake, and playing in the grass.

  They were back before Alec returned. I gave Benjamin lunch and put him down for a nap, pacing the bungalow, and growing more impatient as the minutes ticked by. Where was he?

  Finally, an hour later Alec came through the door, clearly agitated, and in a foul mood.

  “Is everything all right?” I asked, taking a soft approach.

  “Huh,” he scoffed, “not at all.”

  I waited for him to elaborate but he did not. What was going on with him? I had felt him distance himself from me for months now and I could not fathom the reason why. He maintained there was not another woman or anything else that plagued him but his attitude and actions belied his words.

  Sudden realization dawned on me. He was leaving. He was leaving us again. Soon.

  A sharp pain in my chest made me sit down with a flop into one of the dining room chairs. He glanced at me and said nothing, even when I was sure that he knew I had figured it out.

  I stood, trembling, and glared at him. “You’re leaving.”

  “Yes,” he said between clenched teeth, confirming what I already knew.

  “Stop leaving us all the time!” I shouted, hurt and anger taking hold deep in my chest. He turned away from me, refusing to meet my gaze.

  I picked up a glass and threw at his retreating back. It slammed into the wall, glass shards shattering on the wooden floor.

  He spun around, his eyes blazing in anger.

  “Do you think I enjoy walking out that door without you?” He yelled.

  I slumped to the floor, hugging my stomach, as sobs racked my chest in total despair.

  Alec opened the door and left, slamming it hard. The noise woke Benjamin who started crying in the bedroom. With trembling fingers I picked up the broom and dustpan and headed for the front door.

  That was how Mal found me. He raised his hand to knock on the screen when he saw me kneeling on the floor, scooping broken glass into the dustpan, tears streaming down my face. Little Benjamin was wailing in his crib. I met his gaze and my shoulders dropped forward with my tears.

  Mal opened the door and scooped me up, walking into the bedroom. He lowered me gently on the bed and kissed my forehead.

  “Rest. I’ve got this,” he reassured me.

  “Mow! Mow Mama!” Little Benjamin cried.

  “I know little buddy. I’m coming,” Mal told him and swung him up in the air.

  Benjamin laughed happily. “Kissy Mow.”

  Mal placed a kiss on his cheek.

  “How about a snack?” He asked, walking toward the kitchen.

  “Mow. Ben hon wee,” he told him, pointing to his stomach.

  Mal laughed and hugged him tight. “Yes, Benjamin is hungry.”

  I fell asleep moments later, listening to Mal clean up and my little son chatting away happily.

  I felt a hand resting against my cheek, rousing me from the deep recesses of sleep. When I opened my eyes Alec was sitting on the bed, his expression filled with remorse. I hated the fact that we had fought and I knew that he did too.

  “Lizzie, I…there are reasons why I have to go. You need to understand that I don’t leave you because I want to, I leave because I have to,” he tried to explain.

  “Then help me understand Alec, because you never
tell me anything anymore.”

  He sighed. “I have an obligation to the Freedom Fighters. I can’t just abandon everyone.”

  “You can’t keep leaving like this either Alec. We are your obligation too. You have to choose, stay with us or be the Reaper, you can’t keep doing both.”

  His jaw clenched. “You don’t know what you are asking.”

  “I do. It’s out of control Alec. You have to listen to me before it’s too late,” I warned.

  “Too late for what?” His voice had turned cold, distant.

  “I’m going to lose you,” I whispered, “it’s already happening.”

  He shook his head. “No, you are not. Not ever Lizzie.”

  But that was a lie. He was growing further from me every day, until I felt like almost strangers now. “Don’t you feel the distance between us? I haven’t put it there Alec.”

  “It’s the war,” he argued. But his eyes betrayed that he felt it too.

  “No, it’s partially the war…but it is also you.”

  He refused to acknowledge the truth. “No, you are wrong.”

  “Prove it then, stay Alec, don’t leave us anymore,” I begged.

  He stood. “I can’t do that. You are in danger.”

  “I’m always in danger.” What was he referring to?

  “Not like this Lizzie.”

  What was he keeping hidden? What secret did he hold back? “Tell me.”

  “I have to find the leak. I have to make sure you are safe,” he whispered.

  Leak? What leak? “What are you talking about Alec?”

  “Someone leaked your location at the bunker. The bomb was meant to kill you.”

  Shocked I could only stare at him. “What?”

  He took a deep breath. “I think you heard me.”

  I did, and I was furious. “You kept that from me?”

  He began to place the hardwood floors. “Yes, I thought it was best.”

  “Best to hide the truth, to break your promise to always be honest, no matter what?” I asked bitterly.

  He frowned. “That’s not it at all.”

  “Then what else is it?” I asked, hurt at the obvious way he had left me in the dark.

  “I need to take care of this. To make sure you are both safe.” He did not answer me at all.